Love the one you’re…

As I look back on this blog, I note that it’s been over a year.  I started putting down thoughts in this thing in 2003… that’s 15 years and a LOT has happened in 15 years.  I won’t recap any of it because frankly, you can go read it.  What’s important to talk or think about today is my wife…

Since last I wrote to this rather lengthy blog, I’ve broken off with my fiancee of 7+ years, fallen in love with another woman, and married her.  All that is only background, however, to what I’m actually here to say.

My wife is fat.  She’s not “husky” or “plus size” a “big girl” or “curvy” or any of that other euphemisms that we like to wrap around women and their sizes.  And I’m not a fetishist or “into” “big girls” or whatever other garbage you want to wrap around our relationship.  It annoys me to no end to think that some people would look at us and think that in order for anyone to love her would require some odd deviation from the norm on my part.  Fat isn’t a “bad word” in our house as it seems to be for many people.  It’s just another harmless adjective.

When we first met, I saw a beautiful woman full of life, not a measurement on some arbitrary scale of sizes.  While others saw a “fat girl” I saw this

How can you resist that face?  And to think that so many men passed her over, or worse yet, abused her because they thought it their right, before she found her way to me.

To be honest, I just don’t get it.  How in the world could so many men before me look at this woman and not see what I see?

She is so vibrant, so full of life, a wellspring of joy, an amazingly loving companion… she is even willing to work in the garden every summer…

Just looking back on these photos from the last few months brings tears to my eyes.  How in the world could any man think it right to crush this spirit.  I hang my head in sadness to think how many hours she spent in despair because some man who misjudged her and thought her only good as a target of his rage.

I love this woman with all my heart and soul and it makes me supremely sad to think that society in general dismisses her because she’s not a size 2.

She is my love and my life.  And I would not trade her for anything and I love and adore her exactly the size she is.