Love the one you’re…

As I look back on this blog, I note that it’s been over a year.  I started putting down thoughts in this thing in 2003… that’s 15 years and a LOT has happened in 15 years.  I won’t recap any of it because frankly, you can go read it.  What’s important to talk or think about today is my wife…

Since last I wrote to this rather lengthy blog, I’ve broken off with my fiancee of 7+ years, fallen in love with another woman, and married her.  All that is only background, however, to what I’m actually here to say.

My wife is fat.  She’s not “husky” or “plus size” a “big girl” or “curvy” or any of that other euphemisms that we like to wrap around women and their sizes.  And I’m not a fetishist or “into” “big girls” or whatever other garbage you want to wrap around our relationship.  It annoys me to no end to think that some people would look at us and think that in order for anyone to love her would require some odd deviation from the norm on my part.  Fat isn’t a “bad word” in our house as it seems to be for many people.  It’s just another harmless adjective.

When we first met, I saw a beautiful woman full of life, not a measurement on some arbitrary scale of sizes.  While others saw a “fat girl” I saw this

How can you resist that face?  And to think that so many men passed her over, or worse yet, abused her because they thought it their right, before she found her way to me.

To be honest, I just don’t get it.  How in the world could so many men before me look at this woman and not see what I see?

She is so vibrant, so full of life, a wellspring of joy, an amazingly loving companion… she is even willing to work in the garden every summer…

Just looking back on these photos from the last few months brings tears to my eyes.  How in the world could any man think it right to crush this spirit.  I hang my head in sadness to think how many hours she spent in despair because some man who misjudged her and thought her only good as a target of his rage.

I love this woman with all my heart and soul and it makes me supremely sad to think that society in general dismisses her because she’s not a size 2.

She is my love and my life.  And I would not trade her for anything and I love and adore her exactly the size she is.

Narita Express by Mimi Wong

I picked this little splat of a book up because it was lonely and unreviewed on Kindle Unlimited. Despite the joy of a free book, I’m candid below.

The snapshot on this one is that it’s the story of a pair of star-crossed lovers as they meet for a long weekend together. The action only covers a few days and is about a 20-minute read if you’re leisurely about it.

To the positive side, the author paints a good picture of how these two characters are feeling and the situation that brought them to these straits. The man meets the woman with great anticipation and frankly, lust, and the story unfolds as they both realize the price they’ll have to pay for this time together. I wouldn’t call it emotional but it is a very emotionally deep piece.

The only real negative, and it’s a negative which depends to great extent what it is you’re looking for in a 20-minute read, is that anything which can be called is action is entirely internal. There’s no excitement or dramatic event, it’s just a rather slow dawning of realization.

In summary, this is a solid bit of writing but you have to be in the right mindset for it. It’s the sort of tidbit you might suggest to your mate as a “let’s read and then discuss” piece on a quiet night staying in when the kids are away at grandmas.

Books: Love and Cola Wars (*****) [YA]

Firstly, and as usual, I received this book free from the author directly for the purposes of review. Despite that kindness I give my usual candid and sometimes acerbic opinions below.

To begin, this is a young adult novel so my criteria for judgement are different than I would tend to apply to an adult novel. The first question to be answered is whether this book contains anything inappropriate for the target audience. On this account, the book is acceptable. There is some mild reference to sex but the characters respond in a realistic and appropriate manner when the topic arises. There’s little of a violent nature and no use of drugs though there is reference to alcohol and attempts to gain such before legal age. There is also a fair amount of sneaking about and lying to adults but this is far from unusual in any book featuring children.

The second question is whether or not there’s anything positive in this book that I would want my kids to read. On the surface this is a modernized Romeo and Juliet with all the usual trappings of young love and obsession. Taken completely at face value the whole thing is rather inane and vapid but there’s a strong undercurrent that’s worth paying attention to. Avoiding spoilers, in this fictional world everything is sponsored from Coke and Pepsi High School to Microsoft University and these affiliations divide the world in a very strict manner. These rigid commercial castes, if you will, are a potent illustration of our own society’s stratified structure. I have no idea if any of this was intentional on the part of the author but I was struck by the way this sociological lesson was presented in a vivid and relateable manner.

The last question I ask is whether the young reader will be entertained. I would have to say that’s a strong possibility among teenage girls. This is an upbeat view of the life of a teenager in love from the inside that’s just modern enough that the readers might see themselves in the main character. I do have my concerns about whether the theme of corporate sponsorship will make these readers turn away since it does at times come across as almost silly, but it’s worth a shot.

In summary, an intriguing little story that at first aroused my strong suspicions but turned out to be more than I expected. Or, at the least, I saw more in it than I expected to. Light, fun and entertaining with a thread of a lesson if you seek it out.

The Biology of Luck by Jacob M. Appel – Release Date October 7, 2013

The Biology of Luck by Jacob M. Appel

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

As usual I received this book free of charge; specifically, through the grace of a LibraryThing monthly giveaway. Despite that kind and frequent consideration, I give my candid opinions below.

“Biology” is an enigmatic little tale of an ugly and unfortunate man. The chapters alternate between the narrative of his real life and chapters from the book he’s written, named somewhat concentrically, “The Biology of Luck.” His real life is a rather frustrated tale of a man looking for love while book he’s written is a highly optimized and optimistic view on the same events.

On the positive side, this book is highly surreal and captures the dichotomy between our real lives and what we would wish them to be. Our main character builds up his book-within-a-book around the life of his prospective lover and an unlikely series of events that it is hoped will bring her ultimately to his arms for good and all. Other reviewers have called this book “funny” but personally I didn’t find it funny at all but rather dark and far too easy to relate to. The protagonist is a sad little man who makes one big wish and releases it into the world in book form.

To the negative, I would only warn readers that this is not a typical happy go lucky romance novel. This is very deep, patient and thought provoking work and those looking for fluffy romance or a grand payoff at the end will be disappointed. Read this book when you want to spend a day in contemplation, not for an afternoon by the side of the pool. For some this will be a warning and others a recommendation. I leave it to you to decide which category you fall into.

In summary, this novel is a highly literary and complex tale of love, lust and human desire. It also has a lot to tell us about how we perceive others and exhibits the great talent of the human mind for taking tiny shreds of information about people and weaving them into exorbitant narratives that generally have no relationship whatsoever to reality. Just the sort of book you could read three times and get more and more and more from it on each reading.

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